What is a Proverbs 31 woman? Many women today read about this virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 and get completely discouraged by her seeming perfection. Godly men are told to look for a wife that resembles her character and Godly women seek to emulate her. But ladies, before we get discouraged and throw the towel in on our opportunity to learn from Godly wisdom, letβs get some facts straight. We are going to see what a modern-day Proverbs 31 Woman looks like in a fast-paced world where loving Jesus goes against the grain of society.
What is a Proverbs 31 Woman?
A proverbs 31 woman is a woman after God’s own heart. We get the idea of this famous βProverbs 31 womanβ from the last chapter of Proverbs that scholars have dubbed, βthe book of wisdomβ.
This woman is known as a βvirtuous womanβ who had a Godly character, and maximum productivity and home management skills to an impressive degree.
The Proverbs 31 woman does not just represent hard work and a sacrificial lifestyle, she has so much more to offer than just that. Her most valuable qualities are found in matters of the heart.
In the Guide to the Proverbs 31 Woman, we talked about who she was and all the beautiful reasons why God would want His daughters to learn and grow from her example.
There is a reason why God included her in His wisdom book, there is a lot to glean from a woman who values Godly virtues and honors God above all else.
Who was the Proverbs 31 Woman?
There are plenty of amazing qualities that make the βProverbs 31 womanβ such a beautiful example for women of God to look up to. In the latest article, we talked about 25 characteristics of the virtuous woman, and I pray it was encouraging to your heart!!
However, there is one little secret about this woman, (thatβs not really a secret) but I wonder if it is a well-known fact to Godly women desiring to be all that Godβs called them to be. The Proverbs chapter 31 was a hypothetical example of a woman that King Lemuelβs mother wrote to her son so that he would choose a virtuous woman who loved the ways of the Lord.
Thatβs right, the Proverbs 31 woman did not even exist in the worldβ¦ not in Bible times and definitely not in our modern day.
Thatβs not said so that we dismiss her altogether, but quite the opposite. My prayer is that the daughters of the Lord – my sisters in Christ – would cling tighter to the example of this virtuous woman knowing that God presented her heart to us to learn and grow from.
So, let me be the first to say there is no pressure for my fellow sisters in Christ to be perfect or so over-achieving that you get burnt out and sleep deprived! Because if we would follow her example to a βTβ, thatβs exactly what we would be.
In this article, I would like to pick apart the misconception that woman have to be βperfectβ to be all that God calls them to be. And I would like to shine light on the Truth written in the 31st chapter of Proverbs.
There is grace for us today- and every day!
The Impossible Expectations of the Proverbs 31 Woman
Yeah, somebody had to say it!
We read in Proverbs 31 verse 15 that this virtuous woman would βrise while it is yet nightβ, but then in verse 18, it says that βher lamp does not go out by night.β
So, does that mean a Godly woman is expected to forfeit her sleep for the sake of serving her family? By no means! That would go against wisdom that God has allowed men to gain from scientific research. A lack of sleep has adverse effects on health long-term, as well as the short-term functions of a person.
No one should make staying up super late and then waking super early a habit – thatβs not a healthy lifestyle and I donβt think this is Godβs intended purpose in these verses concerning the Proverbs 31 woman.
Can I get an βamenβ?
We can see how this lifestyle is not sustainable. That is because this is clearly not a lifestyle God intends for women to keep. (Just as He would not expect an unhealthy lifestyle from men either.)
Rather, I believe these verses are speaking to the womanβs ability to be sacrificial in serving. Thereβs nothing that hits quite as hard as sacrificing your sleep for the cause of another.
I believe it is good that a mother or wife would be willing to go the extra mile, to serve her family, if that is what it takes to be available. (That is, to be willing to rise early, or even stay up later, in order to be there for another, if necessary).
A woman who is available to serve with love and compassion is a gift and a blessing, but it should not be to her harm.
Women of God are Not Called to Strive
God doesnβt expect you to wear all the hats at all times. To be a homemaker that devotes all their love and efforts to their family AND be a businesswoman who is chasing her dreams outside of family goals. Afterall, there is only so much time in one day.
That kind of striving creates unnecessary stress, burn-out and busyness that takes away from the most important relationship we have, and thatβs first and foremost, our love relationship with Jesus!
But all that striving and busyness also creates compromises within our relationships at home with our families as well as our responsibilities outside of the house.
We really need to stop putting expectations on ourselves that are not healthy and calling them Godβs plan for women. He does not want us to work ourselves into bad health.
We canβt expect people to have a lifestyle of no sleep and still expect virtuous behavior from them. (Joking, but really!) Moms with a newborn know what sleep deprived feels like, and it does not reap healthy results. (Lord, be with all the sleepy mommas!)
God wants healthy, whole, and selfless women who are ready and available to help their husbands, families, friends and even strangers. (Likewise, this could also be said concerning men!)
We do not need to place unrealistic expectation upon ourselves that God never put on us, but rather focus on Godly principles which can be a benefit to all who follow them.
Leaving Perfection Behind
I pray this very practical imagery has been found to expose the lies the enemy, that so many have believed to be true surrounding this extraordinary woman, and subsequently, untrue about themselves.
I believe HOPE is going to replace the discouragement women of God have experienced for so long, so that we can start to see ourselves like God already sees us. Precious and in right standing before God.
When we realize we will never live up to this hypothetical example in our efforts of productivity β in every single season of our life – we can start to see the encouragement she was meant to bring.
There is so many amazing things to learn from the Proverbs 31 Woman.
I believe God wants us women to have a healthy perspective on this chapter of the Bible because it was intended to spur our faith towards good works, rather than cause our desire for βgood wordsβ to work us into exhaustion.
May this be where unrealistic expectations towards women get crushed, in the light of Godβs Word and His heart.
With the right perspective in mind, we have created the place and space to bloom and grow in, so that we would be nurtured by God in this beautiful journey of womanhood.
Being Intentional > Perfection
Throughout the years, I have fallen off the home cooked meals and clean house bandwagon, yet the vision still remains. I stay encouraged because being a woman that honors God is not just about clean dishes and freshly pressed shirts hanging in the closet. We are so much more than that!
Godβs grace continues to teach me how to be a good steward of my resources, which helps me grow into a wiser woman overall. Every day I continue to learn and grow into a Godly mother and wife for my family as I surrender to Godβs leading.
Needless to say, the βProverbs 31 Woman Projectβ has been a lifelong challenge for meβ¦ and maybe it has for you too!?
But I encourage you daughter of the Lord Most High, God is good and He is willing to work in and through you! So donβt ever give up, there is grace for us modern women!
This amazing Proverbs 31 woman explained so eloquently in the Bible wasnβt just a meal-planning, perfect house-keeping, homeschooling, minivan driving, soccer mom, boss-lady.
She looks a little different for different lifestyles. If you ask me, the world (and we ourselves) already heap up so much weight upon our woman shoulders. Why do we keep doing that?!
It was never Godβs intention to add more weight to a womenβs shoulders or more duties to check off on a to-do list to make the daily tasks of life harder than they ought to be.
If we can take a deeper look at Godβs intention for including the wisdom of Proverbs 31, we realize that this woman is so much more than anything the natural eyes can see. Her contribution for the Kingdom of God has eternal benefits!
What is Godβs Design for women?
The lifestyle of modern women may look different than Bible times, but that doesnβt change the womanβs role for His precious daughters, in society and Godβs design in the family and in marriage. (According to scripture, Ephesians 5:33 tells wives to respect their husband, and Titus 2:4 telling women to love their children and husband. Countless other scriptures tell us how to honor God with a pure heart and to walk in His truths.)
Godβs overall design for women is the same as it is for men. We are all designed to glorify God with our lives, as we point to Jesus with hearts that have been made new through Him. Women, however, bring a delicate touch to this world that shines Jesus in a very distinct and beautiful way.
I used to think being a Proverbs 31 woman meant being a wife and mother who prioritized a well-dressed, happily fed family, and a home that is fashionably furnished and kept to perfection. While every one of those things are nice and good, that cannot be our main focus.
Appearances are superficial, and its effects on eternity are just as surface level.
Along the way, I realize that it is more about becoming a woman after Godβs own heart!
While we keep all those beautiful goals at the forefront of my heart and mind, may we be intentional to show ourselves and others grace on this journey of life.
Perfection does not have to hinder us from shining the light of Jesus to those we meet. Especially with those who are nearest and dearest to our hearts.
May we stay reminded that our first ministry is to God, and then to those God has entrusted us with at home. We all want the best for our marriages, our families, and our babies, but I submit to you⦠striving for perfection is not the final answer.
Remain Faithful in the Place God Has You!
The Truth is, we only have so much time in our days. We must be intentional to spend our time in the places God is calling us to.
For some of us women, God is calling us to focus on family, for others God may be focusing their attention on their careers. God can use any lifestyle to shine His love and heart-transforming Truth to this broken and lost world.
Businesswomen can be very successful in their careers, and they might be choosing a different type of life than a stay-at-home mom raising her children to be generation shakers for Jesus.
Wherever God calls us, may we be faithful in the place He has us in!
Because lifestyles look so different, person to person, we should keep grace in mind for ourselves and every other woman trying to honor God in her life.
We cannot afford to say that one lifestyle is right, and every other lifestyle is wrong … or that one womanβs life is more Biblical and all others God is not be pleased with.
God can be glorified in every single life that is submitted to Him. And for each of us, He is leading us in the way we ought to go, according to His special plan for our lives.
Psalm 37:23 tells us βThe steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.β
The way God leads one woman is different than the way He leads another, because He is strategic to place them in the right place to touch the hearts of those around them. So may we have grace for all those who seek to follow the call of God for their lives. A heart that listens to His voice and follows Him will always be on the right path.
How can Modern Women who Love Jesus Relate?
We get so caught up in why we donβt look like the Proverbs 31 woman of the Bible, that we miss the good work God is working within us as modern women today. We deal with modern-day issues that no other generation has had to navigate before in history.
There is grace for your journey in every season!
There is grace when we βfall offβ the game plan, because here in the pages of Proverbs 31 we find the encouragement we need to try again! Just donβt give up βbecomingβ, because God isnβt finished with any of us yet.
We can be free to shine the love of Jesus in your own unique way, so that we would bloom and grow into the beautiful daughter God saw us to be before the foundation of the world!
What is a Proverbs 31 Woman?
So, what is a Proverbs 31 woman? She represents virtue and the love of God extended. She may not be perfect, but she is intentional. When she needs reminding, she knows God gave her the best example to learn from.
Us Proverbs 31 Women get back up with a strength only the Lord could provide. Our purpose comes from God, and in Him, we trust all the day long!
The modern day Proverbs 31 Woman comes from many different lifestyles, but her most important qualities could be summed up as:
- Dependent on God
- Devoted to her family
- Diligent in her work
My hope in writing this article is to encourage women of God to grow in their own Proverbs 31 Woman Project. Not to copy the life of a perfect woman β but to become all that God has called each one of us to be, by His strength, and with her encouragement cheering you on!
PRAYER: βDear loving Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace that teaches and leads me in Your Truths. I know you do not intend to heap unrealistic expectations upon my shoulders and have me striving towards good works to the point of exhaustion. I am sorry for trying to work my way to right standing with you, with my husband, with my family – and with myself. I see the grace You have extended towards me, and I receive Your tender loving kindness today. Teach me how to rest in Your love and how to do my best with a heart of joyful praise and gratitude. Strengthen me for this journey. Everything I do, I want to do unto You. In Jesus name I pray, amen!β
How encouraging!! I am praying to become a Godly woman, wife and mother for my family!
Yes, Praise GOD!! This is my prayer for women of today, those in Christ to see the value of becoming the strong and beautiful virtuous women God created us to be! Check out the “Proverbs 31 Woman Project” post, it is for women like you and I! π