Have you ever met someone who was so selfish and self-absorbed, and wondered to yourself if they ever considered other people’s perspectives? If you have journeyed through this life for any amount of time, the chances are you have met a few. Unfortunately, these are people we would rather not surround ourselves with, for obvious reasons. To say we love Jesus, we must love others… that includes those who are hard to like. Maybe you know someone who is difficult to get along with, and yet they are a part of your life for the long haul. As a child of God, we know that God is in the business of changing hearts and redeeming lives from destruction. We know that Jesus saves, but you may have wondered can God change a narcissist. Let’s consider this together.
A “narcissist” vs. “narcissistic behavior traits”
The word “narcissist” is really thrown around in today’s time. As many have already pointed out, narcissistic behavior is known for being incredibly selfish. It’s often taught and encouraged in this self-serving, microwave society.
While a person may exhibit narcissistic behavior traits, I believe the true narcissistic heart is one that is not open for God to teach and transform them. Godly principles are truly for the good of everyone. Many do the “right thing”, and they don’t even know that they are following Godly principles in behaving kindly to others.
I think we should be careful not to give a person an identifying label, because only GOD assigns identity, not us. Instead, let’s call out the qualities of behavior and give that a name, so that we know how to pray.
Can God Change a Narcissist?
So many lies are believed about the character of God by those who don’t even know Him. And while that’s unfortunate, it is understandable. (Because we cannot expect someone who doesn’t have access to God to learn from Him personally).
However, what is most sad to me, is that even in the Christian community, the character of God has been misunderstood. I’ve been seeing a few Christian counselors saying that God cannot change the heart of a narcissist.
Wait… WHAT!!!!!??
THAT’S A BIG FAT LIE!
Now, I’m in no way disregarding Christian counselors, but I am saying that Christian counselors ought to teach and lead by faith principals.
The truth is, if any person is willing for God to touch the selfish part of their heart that opposes His truth and love, then God is 100% able to transform them!
This is who God is! God’s grace is not reliant upon the receiver, but the gift giver, the Lord God Himself!
So, is it possible, can God change a narcissist??
God can, and He is, and He will draw hearts to Himself!!
God is literally in the business of changing hearts! That is, if they come to the end of themselves and they want Him to!
There are countless testimonies of ugly, sinful, selfish, perverted, murderous, drug addicted hearts out here completely changed by the glory and love of God. And that includes those who are knowingly (or unknowingly) operating from a deceptive and manipulative heart!!
PRAISE GOD!! He Can Do It!! ☝️
There is nothing too big for our God, not even those displaying big narcissist behavior traits!
Is There Hope For a Real Heart Change?
Please don’t believe the lie that there’s no hope for a heart change in a person who is selfish. The truth is, without God, we are ALL selfish!
Selfishness comes along with that human nature we have all been born into – ya know, that sinful nature that Jesus tells us to crucify daily. (Even moment to moment at times, if need be) To lay our selfish ambitions, desires and motives down and CHOOSE GOD’S WAY, which is peaceable and full of grace, truth and love. (Related Article: How Does God Transform Hearts )
I have a handful of beautiful testimonies how God has miraculously touched my body and healed it, but I still say His Biggest Flex was healing my heart! God has healed my heart layer after layer, until He was able to transform it into the image of His son Jesus! And the best part is that He isn’t done with me yet!
Life is a journey that God promises to conform His children into the image of Jesus Christ until we see Him face to face.
It is my JOY to know that God is never done with us.. He continues to mold our teachable hearts, and creates little wonders within us. The workmanship of God to a human heart surrendered to Him is truly a work of art. His love amazes me!!
There Are NO Lost Causes In Christ!
Believers in Christ: be careful to not allow “scientific research” to trump your faith in the unchanging character of your God!
This word, “narcissist” that has been used to describe the sinful qualities in a selfish heart is nothing new to God. So, don’t be afraid of narcissist behavior traits when you see them thrown right in front of your face, because God isn’t afraid of our sinful nature! And please don’t consider them a lost cause, because Jesus is still able to save and redeem their lives from destructive behaviors. Just like He has with so many!
While there are times that creating space between you and another person is necessary, such as if they are physically abusive. The truth is, there are many people in our lives that are just hard to have around, and yet they are in our lives to stay. (Co-workers, a parent, an adult child, and sometimes even spouses, just to name a few realistic examples.)
If you have a person with narcissist behavior traits in your life, it’s through much prayer and humility that God can work in their hearts through your example.
It’s the GOODNESS OF GOD that leads us to repentance. (Romans 2:4)
Love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
It won’t just be their hearts that’s healing and being redeemed, but it will be your heart as well. And that’s a good thing!
Bad Experiences Cannot Change Our Faith In An Unchanging God!
Don’t let the enemy’s work through another person weary you and steal your HOPE from you.. don’t let discouragement wither away your faith in the God of the impossible!!
Stay reminded of who God is!
We serve a loving, compassionate, and MIGHTY TO SAVE GOD!
With God, ALL Things Are Possible…!!!
So, if that’s you wondering, “can God change a narcissist”, don’t lose your faith in a faithful God!! Don’t count these who are rude or unfair to you as hopeless. Because the Word of God tells us that “ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE” when God’s involved, according to Mark 10:27.
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”
MARK 10:27
Our Heavenly Father is able to save to the uttermost those who come to Him through Jesus Christ. (Hebrews 7:25). And while He is saving them, He is going to give you the grace and strength to see them the way God sees them… so that you can SHINE the light and love of Jesus to them! Amen!
People can be difficult. In fact, if we are honest, we ourselves can be difficult at times. While I am not encouraging good people to hang out with ill-meaning, manipulative individuals who prey on good hearted people, I understand there are going to be people with bad intentions and ugly attitudes everywhere we go. Some of us might be enduring with them in this life.
Can you relate to this post? You are not alone. Leave a comment, and let’s lift each other up in prayer! God hears us when we pray! 🙂 God bless you, Beloved.
Disclaimer:
Even though I say that we shouldn’t throw people away forever, because God doesn’t do that to us.. I must say, if you are reading this and are in a physically abusive relationship, please seek help. We can pray for loved ones (in faith believing) and still seek shelter for our physical safety at the same time. Nobody should live in fear for their lives.
**I am not a counselor, therapist or anything other than a Faith-Filled Believer in a God who transforms hearts, and redeems lives from destruction.
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Abiding in the love of Jesus and allowing His light to shine through you!
Asking for prayer for my husband Antonio. We are currently separated after 5 months of marriage. He has a narcissistic disorder that he didn’t act out until after being married. I do believe God can change hearts when one has a willing heart. It’s been an exhausting 5 months because he is aware of his behavior but denies that it’s not a problem. He doesn’t want to change. I’m praying he surrenders all to the Lord. He has been abusing both verbally n mentally to me n my daughter. The Lord gave me 2Timothy Ch3… that I depart n have no communication with him. Separate for there be Pearce.. Thank You for sharing this word. It has enlightened to know to stand in faith n hope in God.
Is there any good Christian based books that can be given to a narcissist to help him in his healing?
Thank you for this writing My husband displays narcissistic behavior. I am believing for the impossible, the restoration of my marriage, my husband has been unfaithful, creating emotional affairs with some physical touch according to a conversation I heard, we still live together but in separate rooms. He has said many cruel things to me. I’m praying our Father Hod changes his heart.
Please pray Syville Villarta for enlightenment.
Thank You Father for Syville, how you love them and desire a close relationship with them. I pray for Your hand to cover them and protect them.. lead them and guide them. Open their eyes to see the TRUTH and cause them to see their DEEP NEED for You God! Thank You Lord for Your mercy and grace, and for covering Syville, in Jesus name. Amen!!
God bless you friend, Love Dawn
I met a narcissist and fell in love I didn’t know he was a narcissist..I didn’t even know what a narcissist was..He love bombed me ..I thought God sent him to me because he told me that God bought us together ..he told me he puts His first and has a pure heart. .everything I prayed God for ..I truly believed be was from God .as time went on he changed and became cold and he started butting me down ..he even told me he was going to marry me ..then he started to ask me for money ..which i gave to him ….I found out he wasn’t working where he said..he lied to me …he manipulated me…he wanted to come see me but each month i said yes than got nervous and put him off ..even after telling him honest in jesus name I would see him he told me i was a liar …I have started to pray to God to help him …he doesnt know what he is doing because of his false self …i still care for him but i get confused as to what to do …i believe God sent him into my life for a reason. Can you please help me and pray for him and me …my name is Patti and his name is Brian .
I hope I hear from you ..I’ve been crying a lot
Thank you with all my heart
Patti
No fear of the narcissist again because I have with God all things are possible pray for My narc husband God to change him thanks for meeting you God bless you
Amen sister, you are not alone. So many wives praying for harsh husbands. May God be THE STRONGTOWER that you run to in times of hardship. He is making you a fortified city whose walls are strong and secure IN HIM! I believe that. With a PURE HEART we will see God. (Matthew 5:8, “see” means to EXPERIENCE God). So, as we wait on God He causes us to soar on wings like the eagles. No fear, sis. God Got You!!
Keeping you in prayer. Love, Dawn
I have prayed for my 42 year old rebellious daughter her entire life.
She has a volcano inside her soul that erupts every 5-8 years. She has hurt and cheated on spouses who were all remarkable human beings that I loved.
She is now cheating on her current husband and my faith in God is strong but tested. I found your article encouraging as I too have read there is no cure for NPD. I have close friends praying for her and sincerely hope that God will heal and transform her life.
Thank you you so much for this heart warming article. I am a mother of a 5 years old boy who is showing so many narcissistic trait like his Father. My heart is broken for my son I don’t want him to be Like his father. My Hope on God is big. I pray and wish God can touch my child and heal him from any personality disorder. Pls pray for us and my son Thomas specifically.
I think I’m a narcissist, God, I need help
Hey my friend, the first step is hard in saying we need God to help us. So, PRAISE GOD for your humble heart in admitting that. (Ps. We ALL NEED GOD!)
I wanted to share a beautiful passage of scripture that if you PERSONALIZE and PRAY this for yourself, everyday for the next month, I believe God will enlighten your heart to grow deeper into HIS heart. To behold Him (to look upon Him) we become transformed into the image of Jesus, more and more. May God bless you and keep you in His love my friend! Your sister in Christ, Dawn 🙂
Ephesians 1:16-21 (NKJV)
“16 do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.”
My husband has lied and cheated for our entire marriage, 16 years. I found out 9 months ago. He admitted it, but goes back and forth with saying it wasn’t a solid 16 years, but on and off during that time. But this does not change the fact, that the lie was 16 years, and that his lie and cheating are one in the same. Can you even image how hurtful that is, to keep hearing him go back and forth, it negates everything. I don’t know if he will ever change. 2 facts that I do know about him, he lies with ease and cannot go without sex. I feel I can never trust him again. And what’s worse, we have kids. He betrayed our entire family and put us in danger. He doesn’t believe or seem concerned with ‘crimes of passion’. I am in utter shock at his behavior.
Good morning, my name is Arnel. I have been spiritually lazy when it comes to my relationship with God. I know that He will never leave me, nor forsake me. My fiance’ wants me to pray for him, and he has many narcissistic traits. He has done many things to hurt me, yet I forgive him. How do I go about praying for him, and allowing God to soften his heart? I need prayer, from Brooklyn, NY. I also need to know how do I go about praying for him as well.
Cómo tratar a mi esposo con esas características, debo tratarlo con compasión y orar mucho por él
Please can you pray for Elizabeth, my on and off girlfriend. I believe that she maybe a narsissist and needs to come to Jesus
Hi
Thank you for your message about God being able to heal narcissistic people. I am training as a Christian Counsellor and all the advice is that a narcissistic person is u able to change as they are u able to recognise that they are narcissistic it is part of their personality disorder. But I believe God can heal. Through my own counselling journey I have been able to recognise the narcissistic traits in my own adult daughter. I have felt exhausted at times trying to rescue her out of situations that she initiated such as taking risky decisions but then she ended up playing the victim. As she had grown older the problems seem bigger. For example she chose to marry a man she hardly knew. She refused to listen to advice from those around her. I supported her in the marriage as she is my daughter and I love her. She went on to have children and now the marriage has fallen apart. She has had affairs, been manipulative and emotionally abusive to her husband. He has been abusive physically and emotionally
Now my daughter is in a mess as a single mum with two young children and a baby on the way. I want to support her, as much as i can but Counsellor s tell me I am rescuing her again and that narcissistic people can not learn from mistakes therefor even if I rescue her from this she will quickly move onto instigating another messy situation. But I want to protect the grandchildren and have hope that God can bring healing and change to her heart. She confesses to following Jesus so I have hope he will change her heart to be able to show love, empathy and kindness to others.
Thank you again for your words of hope and truth.
Sharon
Wow, awesome for you to learn and grow in this topic as a Woman of God! We need more faith-based counselors.. So PRAISE GOD for you, sister!
Can we pray about it?: Father God, in the mighty name of Jesus, I pray for my friend sharon, give her wisdom and guidance in this sticky situation. We know that YOU alone are the changer of hearts. Draw her daughter into Your loving kindness, even if it requires a Demascus experience, bring her heart home and humbled to SEE YOU, in Your great mercy reaching out to her! We need You Holy Spirit to breath life into the things that seem dead in our life, and HOPE into our situations. I pray protection on these grandbabies, and peace in their hearts and minds. Give Sharon strength and JOY in loving these children and in prayer for her daughter. Bless them all and keep them in Your Loving care. WE PRAY in the Name above all names, Jesus Christ be glorified! AMEN!
Much love to you sister, Dawn <3
This is very encouraging, thank you for sharing.
God Bless You and Keep you, my friend!
Much Love, Dawn
Thank you so much for this article ❤️ it helped shed light to my questions 😊
I pray that Jesus will heal.my husband. He has a very troubled spirit. In Jesus name. AMEN
Please pray for me. I married a man that was very prideful, selfish, lack of empathy and love, blamed me for everything, manipulated me, gaslighting, paranoia, projection, triangulation, portrays himself as a victim, thinks he is perfect, abandoned me and threatened me with divorce everyday, and physical abuse. This is what I endured for months. I had to get police involved eventually because I was afraid and it was getting worse. They let him go because it was a first time offense. I never wanted to get police involved but it was a quick response after months and months. He divorced me. After a few months he is acting like a Christian telling people Jesus loves you, Jesus saved you, keep in mind he wore the Jesus saved me shirt the day he played hands on me and went to jail. I feel it is all about his image. Even after all this I still think of him everyday. I am devastated about my marriage and about my divorce. I have forgiven him but I am just giving you background information. I really pray for healing for both. It hurts me to know that narcissists don’t actually have the capability to love you and that I was just an object he used and abused. He even says I’m not abusive.
I am so sorry for the pain and you have been living with, but I am happy to hear you are finding safety. Praying for you and others who love a person who is/have been abusive to them. This is not God’s design for marriage, and He doesn’t want us in unsafe situations. Praying for protection and provision for you, friend. God of All Comfort, come close to the brokenhearted and bind up heart wounds. Restore and Rebuild and Make NEW! Thank You Jesus for the redemptive work of the cross on our behalf, and for redeeming our souls AND our lives. Thank You, Lord.
Wishing the best for you sis, God loves you so much!! You are an OVERCOMER in Christ Jesus!! Best of all, YOU BELONG TO GOD! Much Love in Christ to you, my friend!!
I need prayer
Father God, thank you for John, I ask that you would come close to him and minister Your love and grace to all the desires of his heart. Show Him your comfort in this time. Provide for his needs and guide him in the steps that You are leading him to. A HOPE and a Future set-apart for Your glory and his good! Continue to reveal Yourself to him, and cause the flowers in the garden of his heart to bloom and grow like only You can. I ask this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I know I Am a NARCISSIST! Father God heal my heart and elvish ways. Please restore faith in myself to be good to others. Also please restore my relationship with my Fiancee.
Lord God, draw Charleston’s heart to You and shows him Your tender-loving kindness that speaks LIFE and HOPE to their inner man. Let him your Perfect Love that makes ALL THINGS NEW! Let Your words be heard and may they find within themselves a fresh new desire to love and honor You! In Jesus name, amen.